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Federer/Nadal Wimbledon final 2007

One set all

1-2, third set - Nadal wins an epic point by showcasing his supreme forehand skills, whilst Federer eats nothing but Wimbledon green grass.

2-2, third set - Federer holds his serve to love, this is turning into an epic contest.

2-3, third set - with some delicate play, Nadal takes the initiative, and retakes the lead in the third set with some astounding lobs. The passing shots he is playing are beautiful.

3-3, third set - Federer evens things up with a controversial volley, which narrowly stays in the perimeter of the court.

3-4, third set - Nadal survives a small scare as Federer equals to 30-30, but manages to get through, as the set nears its completion.

4-4, third set - Federer holds his serve to love, as his dominance grows.

4-5, third set - Dare I say that Nadal is looking hungrier than Federer at the moment, although I'm sure a few bananas will soon see to that.

5-5, third set - Federer is as graceful as Billy Elliott. As intelligent as Sartre, and as swarthy as Johnny Depp.

5-6, third set - Nadal holds with ease - things should get interesting around now.

6-6 - third set - Federer seems to have morphed into Robocop, every serve he throws down is added with a steely stare, as he takes this set into a tie-break.

7-6, third set - Feds wins the third set on a tie-break, with a possible victory to come in the fourth.

FOURTH SET

1-0 Nadal breaks Federer to kick off the fourth set.

2-0 Nadal goes 2-0 ahead, and could potentially be making the biggest upset since someone called me a nonce a few years ago.

3-0 Nadal - this is liquid tennis.

4-0 Nadal - lightning this, can he pull off the impossible?

4-1 - Federer claws his way back into the set with a set of superb serves.

5-1 Nadal and this is edging towards a deciding set, although Nadal has just had treatment.

5-2 - Federer claws a point back in this set, but surely Nadal can wrap this one up and take it to a decider.....

6-2 Nadal wins the set, so we go into a fifth to decide who wins Wimbledon.

FIFTH SET

1 - 0 Federer as he cuts Nadal apart like a goth in the summertime. Some lovely serving from Federer. Game on.

1-1 Nadal breaks back with some fierce serving, and we are back to square one.

2-1 Federer breaks back from two break points and in doing so perhaps silences Nadal's chance to win.

2-2 - Federer shakes a little bit as he tries to deal with Nadal's fierce serve. Nadal looks the fresher of the two, but Federer has the experience.

3-2 - Federer again brushes off a Nadal threat, holding his serve.

4-2 - A break finally occurs, and it looks like this match might be all over. Sensational tennis from Roger who is showing his lion heart, exhibiting some lovely tennis. Five in a row looks likely.

5-2 - Federer is supreme. His crisp groundstrokes are almost poetic as he rips the game away from Nadal, and in the process makes himself a legend.

6-2 - Game over. Nadal is a broken man. An awesome spine tingling match.

England take on Croatia at 'the home of football' (no, not China,) with a shot at the European Championships at stake. Draw, and they're through, lose - well, we're not going to are we!!

This match is dedicated to Slaven Bilic's earring.

Kick off at Wembley.

1. Steve McClaren is spotted sporting an umbrella. Let's hope the Croatians don't rain on his parade tonight.

2. I do wonder how a team sporting Shaun Wright-Phillips can attempt to compete at world level. I don't think anyone has dined on his dads success as much since Alexander III almost destroyed his homeland back in 19th century Russia.

4. The boggy pitch is affecting play, as both teams struggle to find rhythm.

5. The Wembley fans seem in good spirits, whilst the small pocket of Croatian fans are banging a drum. Joe Cole heads weekly against the keepers hands. 0-0 after five minutes.

6 - Crouch nods down in the box from a Wright-Phillips cross, but no-one is there to take advantage.

7 - I can't believe it's not Robinson! Niko Kranjars shot slides through Scott Carson's buttery hands - his yellow jersey resembling Jersey's finest. One-nil Croatia, and disaster for England.

9 - England attempt to hit back quickly and win a free kick just outside the box. 'That was not in the script' muses Motty. Very Descartes-like. Free kick is crossed tamely into the Keepers hands.

10 - Wright-Phillips with a fantastic chance to equalise, but his shot is comfortably saved by the Croatian goalie. Crouch is playing magnificently.

12 - Bedlam in the England box, as England press for an equaliser, but all chances are wrong.

14 - GOAL for Croatia! Another suspect error from Carson, and Ollic rounds everyone and makes it 2-0. Bridge seems to be at fault for that, but it was a calamity of errors by the entire England defence. This is not good at all.

16 - Replay of the second goal, unbelievable defending from England. Bobby Moore would be spinning in his grave if he wasn't cremated.

17 - Sack McClaren. I haven't seen such magnificence in blue since the invention of Levis 501's.

20 - I'm trying to ignore this tension by deciding who'd win in a fight between John Motson and Clive Tydsley. I think both would KO each other ala Rocky 2 - though they wouldn't be using fists, they'd talk their opponent to death.

24 - Wayne Bridge is collapsing.

25 - Modric is running this match. Rumour have it he could be on his way to the Premiership - apparently Tottenham are after him, and he could be the missing piece to push them into a top four position next season. I really feel it's Juande Ramos's year.

27 - Slaven and Steve remind me of Mark and Jez in Peep Show. McClaren is Mark - a tireless worker, a trier but nothing quite works out for him. Slaven just ghosts along, doing very little but getting by as everyones hero. Worst comparison ever? Email me with more suggestions.

31 - Robert Kovac is yellow carded, but all cards are recinded at the end of this match so it's not too important. England free kick is punched away by Pletikosa.

33 - Joe Cole goes down like the Titanic, though he won't be winning an Oscar for his performance. He might kill a few people out of frustration though.

36 - Scott Carson has got the touch of a rapist, as his clearance is closed down by Kovac.

38 - Steven Gerrard is England's own Mel Gibson - you think he's great, but he shows little weaknesses all over the place. In Gibson's case, it's racism and sexism - Gerrard's is perhaps more serious, with his hollywood balls, and lack of footballing brain.

40 - The problem with England isn't that they play bad football, it's just that they don't play as a team. Nobody seems on the same wavelength as each other, which is affecting the way the ball is being passed around. It's time for someone to step up a be a leader - someone like Beckham?

41 - Scott Carson fumbles again from a Modric shot, this is getting silly. He couldn't catch a cold.

44 - More Croatian pressure, and England look unable to deal with them at the moment.

Half time and England have been woeful. Completely woeful and out of their depth. McClaren has got to make the teamtalk of his life - or it won't just be the match that'll be lost, surely it'll be his job as well.

Second half kicks off. Beckham and Defoe on for Barry and Wright-Phillips. Somewhere, in a BBC studio a father weeps.

48 - England have come out with a renewed vigour in the second half. Beckham is adding a dimension that was missing with Shaun Wright-Phillips, that of talent.

49 - Steve McClaren resembles Mary Poppins with his umbrella - unfortunately for him, things aren't supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Maybe he can tell us if a spoonful of sugar really makes failure go down.

50 - Beckham lines up a free kick in 'Beckham terrority' Beckham! Beckham!! Against the wall.

53 - Shots of Terry and Rooney in the crowd. Shame all the wannabee assailants are watching the match.

54 - PENALTY TO ENGLAND. Defoe gets fouled in the box, and England have a chance to claw themselves back into the game.

55 - Frank Lampard steps up to take it, and scores it. Game on now no question. Great penalty, and have a new hope. 2-1.

57 - England free kick, not quite in Beckham territory, but he swings it across the box - cleared.

58 - Ollic hits the bar! Wayne Bridge gets in the way as it hits the bar. Almost disaster for England.

59 - Magnificent save by Carson - if only he hadn't mucked up at the start, he'd be having a good game.

62 - Ollic bursts through but it's cleared.

64 - CROUCH SCORES! LONG LIVE THE ROBOT! 2-2 England, a beautiful Beckham cross. and Crouch controls spectacularly and then half volleys into the net. Wembley erupts - the Croatians probably think they're back in the war the amount of noise that's going on.

67 - Can England hold on? Can they afford to sit back or should they go for the jugular and attack?

70 - England free kick about 35 yards out. Cleared.

73 - I've got a feeling Croatia might nick this.

74 - Pranjic on for Kranjar.

76 - WHAT A SHOCKER! Croatia have taken the lead AGAIN and their Euro 2008 dream lies in tatters. Petric who has just come on has broken English hearts. It's Diana all over again.

78 - Slaven Bilic looks like Jesus Christ at the moment, albeit Jesus with tight curly hair, an earring and a suit.

79 - Joleon Lescott concedes a corner.

80 - Corner is headed away, England have ten minutes to find a hero. Where's Emile Heskey when you need him?

82 - Replays of the last Croatian goal are shown. I haven't felt this heartbroken since Amy Smith in year seven.

83 - Ollic off for Rativic.

85 - Darren Bent has blown it. Amazing chance to equalise but he's placed it over the bar. Pathetic. Bye bye Austria and Switzerland.

88 - John Motson sounds like he's about to have a heart attack. Perhaps one good thing will come out of tonight after all.

90 - Hang the lot of them. Full time, 3-2 Croatia and we've been outclassed. The worst England performance since the battle of the Somme.

Shambolic, disgusting, abhorrent - and that's just McClaren's hair. Surely he'll be sacked after this woeful performance - and questions need to be raised about the likes of Gerrard and Wright-Phillips who were particularly poor today. Instead of booking flights to Austria and Switzerland, you might as well book yourself a one way ticket to continual disappointment, because this England side will never amount to anything by just playing as individuals. Waste of time.

Minute by Minute Wales vs Australia

1. Wales kick off in decidedly average fashion

2. Scrum occurs - Wales begin early dominance

3. Off ball collision between Roberts and Mortlock

4. Game begins to liven up somewhat - Wales attack in numbers

4. Wales try, 5-0. Welsh fans celebrate like dragons.

5. Wales conversion attempt missed, potentially disappointing.

6 . Wales line out results in Aussie attack

8. Barrage of Welsh attacks fail to break Australia further.

10. Crunching tackle on Lee Byrne

10. Wales scrum

11. The game has been all Wales, Australia look as potent as a man with an STD.

13. Mistake from Wales results in a try for Australia.

15. The game has developed into a free flowing occasion, which might suit Wales as they are packed with flair and panache - Australia have the tight defensive unit, but might lack the killer edge.

16. Animated discussion in the line out from Wales as they seek to eradicate the mistakes which led to the Australian try - they fail, and the ball flies into green and gold hands.

17 - Australian pressure leads to a dropped ball in the Wales 22, resulting in a scrum - Wales need to tighten up if they're to challenge in this match.

17 - Wales sub. Making changes this early in the game could be a sign of panic.

18 - The silver haired referee is refusing to let the game flow, as Wales kick out again,

20 - A slip from the Waes winger prevents an almost certain try. Wales need to take advantage of their wide play, as the pace of Williams could destroy the creaky Australian defence

23 - Another line out, and this game is turning into a chess match, albeit without any pieces - or a board.

24 - Out of nowhere, a drop goal takes Australia to 10-5

27 - Yellow card for Moore

28 - Wales penalty - 8-10

29 - A stunning penalty attempt for Australia narrowly misses from 45 yards

31 - Try for Wales as they romp back into the lead.

33 - Wales are now 15-10 ahead thanks to a Jones conversion.

35 - A scrum results in a Wales break - they are dominating the latter part of this half.

37 - Australia are turning green with envy at the sensational Welsh play.

40 - Half time, Wales are leading 15-10. They have looked beautiful going forward, but suspect at the back. I suspect the Welsh may sneak this, and do their national heroes proud - the Manic Street Preachers, Joe Calzaghe, and Shaun the Sheep.

Second half

41 - Wales are attacking as they did in the first half - good to see they've not just decided to sit back and defend.

43 - Tackling is becoming heavy now - both teams are kicking bits out of eachother.

45 - Australia are running at Wales like an avalanche. Will the game crumble on Wales like soft white snow onto rock?

46 - Stamping in rugby really needs to be kicked out. Australia penalty.

47 - Cultured penalty from Australia, and there is just two points in it - 15 - 13 Wales;

49 - Stephen Jones misses a chance to put Wales further ahead.

51 - A multitude of chances but neither team can find that killer edge.

54. Australia are running out of energy like the Yorkshire steam trains of the 60's.

56 - This game needs something akin to sugar and eggs in a cake mixture - really needs to rise. I suppose the proof will be in the pudding.

58 - A lull in the game as injuries are soothed, and egos massaged.

61 - 20 minutes to go, and Wales are still ahead and set for a famous victory.

67 - Drop goal from Stephen Jones takes one step closer to rugby immortality. 18-13 now.

68 - Warren Gatland looks resolute, but his heart must be beating rapidly.

72 - Can Wales really do this?

73 - Australia can't formulate a plan - or if they are it's about as effective as whoever decided that the Somme was a good idea.

78 - Wales go 21-13 ahead! Stephen Jones comes up trumps with his glorious boot.

79 - Lee Byrne named man of the match.

79 - THIS MATCH ISN'T OVER! A fantastic try has put Australia right back into the match, and it's 21-18. Can Wales hold on?!

80 - Game over, THEY'VE DONE IT!

What a contest, a gripping battle between two nations passionate to win, and two groups of warriors who fought to the last minute. Heroic performances personified the Welsh effort, but out of a team of icons, my own man of the match award goes to Shane Williams, whose pace, trickery and intelligence sizzled the match, like a Welsh rarebit on Bondi Beach.